Monday, January 5, 2009

Platonic Relations

The other day, while aimlessly surfing the TV, I started watching the movie "Shall we dance?" starring Richard Gere (My guy would look like him when he gets old. What a man!!), Jennifer Lopez (Hot!!) and Susan Sarandon (Beautiful she's). It’s a nice movie as far as I had seen. Sorry I can't review it further coz I just saw the movie in bits and pieces.

And as such this post is not about that.

Well, this post is actually about a quote from the movie. Richard Gere (or John Clark as in this movie) speaks the following line to his wife:

"The one thing I am proudest of my whole life, is that you were happy with me. If I couldn't, if I couldn't tell you that I was unhappy sometimes, it's because I didn't want to risk hurting the one person I treasure most. I'm so sorry"

Courtesy: IMDB

It just threw me back when I heard this line. What does this line signify? All right let me tell you under what circumstances John Clark uttered this line to his wife in the movie. The movie is about Richard Gere (John Clark or lets just call him JC), who is a lawyer by profession. He has this happy family. But, somehow he is not happy with the life he's living. He feels he lacks something in the life he lives. That’s when I suppose he joins this dancing class and then he gets all obsessed about dancing and even participates in some kind of competition. But he keeps this dancing classes stuff away from his wife because he doesn't want her to know as to why he took up dancing class. But finally his wife figures out about his dancing class and also comes to know of the reason as to why he chose it. And that's when he quotes the above-mentioned line to his wife. Forgive me, if my synopsis is wrong. As I told you before, I just watched the movie in bits and pieces. Actually missed the whole first hour or so.

Anyways getting back to what I wanted to say in ma post.

Recently I had this huge tiff with one of my very close friend. This quote from the movie kind of reminds me about the tiff I had. He did something for me that he didn't want to or wasn't happy about doing just because he loved me and didn't want to see me hurt. Of course in the movie, it’s the other way around. JC likes to dance since he feels his life is complete when he does it but he hides the fact from his wife in order to not make her feel responsible for his unhappy times. In my case, it’s a bit more complicated than the movie.But well I was just wondering if doing something like this was right in any sense? Even if you love a person so much, does it actually make sense in doing something that you don't want to be a part of? Aren’t you being unfair to the person whom you love there? You aren't telling them the truth. You are hiding the truth from them just because you don't want to hurt them. But the very fact that you hid something from them tampers the love you have for them. In any bond or relationship, if something is being hidden, it just shows that there's something wrong out there. You being unable to discuss your feelings and opinions show there's a barrier that needs to be broken. Well, fine you do something that you don't like just for their sake. But isn't there a limit or extent to which you can do certain things for others. You can compromise on little things. But can you compromise on the very reason that makes you do it? A bond between two persons should have absolute transparency between the both of them. Otherwise, it just spoils the essence of it. What do you mean by understanding then? In such a case, knowing a person would mean knowing everything about them-Their likes, dislikes, opinions, etc. When you aren't fine with something, you should let the other person know about it and should also make them aware of the reason as to why you dislike it. Trust me, if you matter to the person so much, they would understood your issue instead of getting hurt or angry about it. This friend of mine thought it would hurt me if he said a "No”. Well it actually hurts me to think he didn't have the kind of comfort to discuss it out with me. It’s hard and it's tough. You have this great bond, a platonic one in its true terms and the very foundation of it shakes. It makes you wonder how did it become a platonic one with such a major flaw in it. It makes you so vulnerable. It makes you doubt all the bonds that you have with others. You are so confused. You feel so numb. You just sit still with various thoughts striking your head and you just keep asking "Why? Why? Why?" unable to answer them yourselves. You are angry. You are hurt. You are irritated and frustrated. It can't be sympathy. But that's the closest word you get. You are broken and crushed. You feel cheap and ugly. You wonder how come you didn't realize all these days. You think of the past and shrink away from it. You feel low. You can't believe it happened with you all the time. All the time when you believed it was something else. And finally the truth hits you. It hits you hard. You fall. You fall back lifeless and hopeless. You are unable to explain how you feel. The person who understood you all these days is the person with whom the tiff is and now even he fails to understand. You feel alone. Your other friends are there for you and each of them are trying to console you. Each of them has their own theory. As far as you are concerned, you know and you don't know. But you are still unable to do anything about it. The hurt is done. The scar is left. You don't know when it'll heal and others don't know that there's a scar. You ask for time and you are given time. You wonder "how much" more time it'll take while others wonder "why so much" time she takes.

You look back at your past and you regret. You look forth at your future and just don’t find any.

Read this article recently in Rouge, a supplement of times of india

The article is about the 5 types of men that every women should have.This one interested me.

Every girl must have (if one doesn’t already) a guy who’s her best pal. He’s a good listener, he’ll give you sound advice, he’s fun, you’ll probably share similar interests, you can call him in times of emotional crisis and expect to feel better, he understands you and doesn’t judge you at the drop of a hat! He’ll always be there for you, no matter what"

Well I thought I had one..But now it's more like I used to have...


  1. wish he clearly understands ur reason for takin so much tym...may be tym ll heal...shows hw much u value d relationship sowmi....proud of ya!!!

  2. Well!! Salute your relationship, as I ve always did..
    Wateva you said as your version is true!!

    But still reassess!! Was the relationship so brittle to shatter in a moment. Scar will be there, but a solutions is always possible.. Nothin more to say, coz silence could speak more here


Nice comments are very much welcome..Not-so-nice comments are not really welcome but well I ain't restricting your freedom to comment!!It'll be taken with a view of improvisation!!Thank you very much!!